Why Not Marry Your Pet?

The “hot” story these days is the impending marriage of two Canadian men. Not because they’re homosexual, but because they’re not:

Two self-professed straight (that is, heterosexual) Canadian men have made public their decision to get ‘married’ to one another. It was only a matter of time, of course.

The Ottawa Citizen reported [. . .] that while sitting in a bar last week it occurred to Bill Dalrymple, 56, and Bryan Pinn, 65, that [. . .] with both of them being single, apparently without any serious opposite-sex marriage prospects on the line, it wouldn’t be such a bad tax-saving idea to get hitched . . . to each other. Thanks to the newly instated civil marriage act, extending “marriage” rights to same-sex couples, that’s not a problem. And since the new act doesn’t include any discriminatory restrictions on ‘sexual preference’ (as if that could be measured anyway) the two thoroughly straight men seem to have a clear path to the altar. . . .

[. . .] Bruce Walker, a Toronto area gay and lesbian rights activist, has [criticized Dalrymple and Pinn]. “Generally speaking, marriage should be for love,” he said. “People who don’t marry for love will find themselves in trouble.” . . .

“Marriage”, now, as Canada has defined it and the pro-gay activists have consistently defended it, has absolutely nothing to do with copulation or sexuality or procreation and everything to do with ‘love’—not erotic love, just . . . love, of whatever kind. . . .

Dalrymple and Pinn simply believe in the old-fashioned kind of brotherly love.

Well, why not marry a beloved pet? If you die before the pet does, the pet will inherit your home and have a comfy place in which to live out its days, without going through the fuss and bother of probate.

(Thanks to my son for pointing me to the story about Dalrymple and Pinn.)

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PC Madness

Coyote Blog points to the NCAA’s latest venture into political correctness:

The presidents and chancellors who serve on the NCAA Executive Committee have adopted a new policy to prohibit NCAA colleges and universities from displaying hostile and abusive racial/ethnic/national origin mascots, nicknames or imagery at any of the 88 NCAA championships.

The Executive Committee, meeting Thursday in Indianapolis, also approved recommended best practices for schools who continue to use Native American mascots, nicknames and imagery in their intercollegiate athletic programs.

“Colleges and universities may adopt any mascot that they wish, as that is an institutional matter,” said Walter Harrison, chair of the Executive Committee and president at the University of Hartford. “But as a national association, we believe that mascots, nicknames or images deemed hostile or abusive in terms of race, ethnicity or national origin should not be visible at the championship events that we control.”

Obviously, no college or university in the U.S. is hostile toward Native Americans or any other group of persons that isn’t white, male, and heterosexual. So what’s the problem?

Why aren’t the Greeks and Turks upset about all those teams of Spartans and Trojans dotted around the country?

If livestock could vote, the NCAA certainly would be riding herd on Mustangs and Broncos, and all of those other rampaging animals. Though I doubt that anyone would stick up for the Mud Hens (the nickname of a minor league baseball team).

Speaking of baseball — my favorite sport — why aren’t New Englanders up in arms about the New York Yankees when most New Englanders (the original Yankees) are fans of the Boston Red Sox.

I guess it’s okay to call a team the Sox (the Red of Boston or White of Chicago) because there are few textile and hosiery manufacturers still operating in the U.S. We still have a lot of mountains, though, so I do have to wonder about the Colorado Rockies.

Why aren’t matched siblings and extra-large persons upset about the Minnesota Twins and San Francisco Giants?

Why aren’t professional groups of various sorts marching against the Houston Astros (for astronauts), Kansas City Royals, Los Angeles Angels, Los Angeles (trolley) Dodgers, Milwaukee Brewers, Oakland Athletics, Pittsburgh Pirates, San Diego Padres, Seattle Mariners, and Texas Rangers?

Birds should sue the Baltimore Orioles, St. Louis Cardinals, and Toronto Blue Jays. And there are the beasts of land and sea who must be offended by the likes of the Arizona Diamondbacks, Chicago Cubs, Detroit Tigers, Florida Marlins, and Tampa Bay Devil Rays.

Then there are those pesky Native American teams, the Atlanta Braves and Cleveland Indians. Why haven’t they wised up yet?

So we’re right back where we started. I guess what we need are more teams with innocuous names like the New York Mets, Philadelphia Phillies, and Washington Nationals.

Come to think of it, I doubt that any self-respecting PC policeperson would object to the Cincinnati Reds. I mean, aren’t socialism and communism far more enlightened systems than free-market capitalism?

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Who Looks Like a Republican?

Someone said, apropos the nomination of Judge John Roberts to the Supreme Court, that the judge looks just like a Republican:

Well, I can imagine how a myopic Democrat would react to these photos of several Democrat members of the Senate Judiciary Committee, which is about to hold hearings on the Roberts nomination:

Republican corporate executive, lying to Congress about his knowledge of the scandal du jour. (Sen. Joe Biden, Del.)

Sleazy Republican used-car salesman. (Sen. Dick Durbin, Ill.)

Republican fat-cat, on his way into a board meeting. (Sen. Ted Kennedy, Mass.)

Small-town Republican pol, cozying up to the VFW. (Sen. Herb Kohl, Wis.)

Rabid right-wing Republican ideologue, spewing his message of hate. (Sen. Pat Leahy, Vt.)

"Thinking" vs. "Feeling"

Arnold Kling, in n a recent Tech Central Station column, posits a correlation between libertarianism and the “thinking” aspect of personality:

In my experience, libertarians and collectivists often talk past one another. Libertarians believe that collectivists are not thinking, while collectivists believe that libertarians are not feeling.

There’s a lot to that. But a post by Alex Tabarrok at Marginal Revolution reminds me of my “feeling” side:

Here is a new interview with Milton Friedman. I liked this from the introduction:

San Francisco seems an unlikely home for the man who in 1962 first proposed the privatization of Social Security.

Asked why he dwells in liberalism’s den, Milton Friedman, 92, the Nobel laureate economist and father of modern conservatism, didn’t skip a beat.

“Not much competition here,” he quipped.

How does that remind me of my “feeling” side? Friedman’s quip is obviously just that, a quip. Friedman probably could live anywhere he wants to live. Why San Francisco, then? Why not? It has more than Lefties; it has “culture” — universities, museums, and the arts (of all kinds).

In fact, one tends to find “culture” where one finds a lot of Lefties. Moreover, many Lefties are actually nice people, as long as they can avoid talking about George W. Bush, a topic that seems to bring out the worst in their natures.

So, when I want to be a “feeling” person I hang out with Lefties and engage in pursuits that are more typical of Lefties than Righties. To tell the truth, with a few exceptions I avoid the company of Righties because I don’t share their tastes in music (the Nashville sound), sports (NASCAR), and media personalities (Limbaugh, O’Reilly, and Hannity), among other things.

Well, that’s enough “feeling” for today.

Don’t Go South, Young Man

Zimran Ahmed (Winterspeak) joins James Lileks (The Bleat) in despairing of Northern weather. Here’s James, who was born in Fargo, N.D., and has lived in Minneapolis, Minn., since 1976 (minus 4 years in D.C.):

I should note that it rained today. All day. It’s cold, too. The time has come, perhaps, to plot the Great Move to Arizona. Not now; not soon. I just ordered a light fixture for the dining room, for heaven’s sake, and I don’t think I’ll be prying it off the ceiling anytime soon. But in five years? Sure. I can take five more winters, five miserable springs, five desperate summers, if I knew I was heading to my reward. I jumped once before, left in haste, and that was the move to DC. Can’’t do that again. I have to move up in every way. DC was a move sideways or down; from ease of mobility to living conditions to the aroma of the grocery stores to the weather to the civic services to the crime, it was all for the worse. It had its compensations, and had I been in my 20s it would have been a great adventure. But my life kept getting smaller and smaller, and after a point the promise of a new Tibetan / Peruvian fusion tapas restaurant in Adams-Morgan seemed to be insufficient compensation.

And here’s Zimran, who has lived in Chicago, New York, and New England:

Hear hear I’m with James. I’m tired of the cold. I’m tired of the rain. I’m tired of the high cost. I’m tired of having to run out at 8 in the morning and look for parking on street cleaning days, only to find none, and then having to decide whether to suck up the parking ticket (again) or feed a meter and run out at 10 to do it all over again.

Like the rest of New England, I’m moving South. And/or West.

I feel their pain. I grew up in Michigan, went to university there (and briefly in Cambridge, Mass.), lived for three years in upstate New York, and spent 37 “temporary” years in the D.C. area, “enjoying” it as little as did James Lileks. I moved to central Texas two years ago, where I finally have found almost all the heat and sunshine I can stand.

But take it from me, if you want to live in a Sun Belt city with a “cultural” ambience — a good selection of restaurants offering varied cuisines, live theatre, museums, plenty of live music (classical and otherwise), and nice places to hike and bike — you are going to put up with everything that’s bad about almost all mid-size and large cities: Leftist politics, high taxes, traffic congestion, crazy drivers, and rude people.

Don’t move to the Sun Belt unless you really crave sunshine and heat. I do, and so I’m happy in central Texas. Not because it offers any more ambience than the D.C. area (it doesn’t), but because it’s sunny and hot.

If sunshine and heat are all you crave, you might as well stay in the North. Who says global warming is bad?

High Fences Make Good Neighbors

Here’s why:

The goat must be a sensitive soul. The rat is my kind of guy.

The Economy Works, in Spite of Zany Economists

This post is from the archives of the pre-blog version of Liberty Corner. I wrote it in 1998. I still like it.

Even though Stephen Jay Gould once accused social scientists of “physics envy,” he did not deter economists’ efforts to practice the dismal science as if it were really a science. Thus, for example, a Robert Shiller of Yale University arms himself with data about the past performance of the stock market and warns us that the Dow will lunge from 8,000 (make that 9,000 . . . 10,000 . . . 11,000) to 6,000 or less. The problem with such analytical exercises is that they tell us what has happened but not what will happen. Statistics predict the past with uncanny accuracy.

Not that Professor Shiller is entirely wrong about the future performance of the stock market. He is almost certainly right, in principle, because the only known monotonic trends in the universe are its expansion and its aging — and a lot of physicists aren’t sure about the permanence of those trends. No, Professor Shiller will probably be right, some day, because — as the old saying goes — a stopped watch is right twice a day.[*]

John Maynard Keynes (created Lord Keynes for his services to economic thought and to some members of the Bloomsbury Set) averred that a government could spend an economy out of a depression. In spite of Keynes, the United States and Great Britain remained mired in the Great Depression for most of the 1930s. Some have argued that Keynes was vindicated by post-World War II prosperity, which they attribute to the the binge of consumer spending spawned by the massive infusion of government spending in wartime. That argument overlooks the inconvenient possibility that the Great Depresssion, like earlier depressions, would have ended without the benefit of government largesse. The argument also overlooks the fact that, unlike the United States, Great Britain did not plunge into prosperity at the end of World War II.

One could argue that Germany and Japan proved Keynes right because unemployment in those countries vanished in the face of their massive arms buildups. Yes, and one could say that the members of a chain gang are well off because they have “jobs.”

Enough of old feuds. Let us return to the present scene.

Today’s “green economists” advance the notion that free markets are all right in their place — but not when it comes to protecting the environment. Conjuring dire results for humankind if markets continue to cater to the crass demands of consumers, those economists would commandeer the economy in the name of future generations yet unborn. (Sound the trumpets! Wave the flag!) If one reasonably assumes that such economists know that there are market-based ways to solve the problems caused by pollution, what is one to make of their anti-market rhetoric? Answer: Just like any consumer of “political pork,” they’re perfectly willing to have the government aggrandize their own (psychic) income at the expense of the general welfare. That is, they simply don’t like economic growth and don’t care who is hurt by their anti-growth propoganda.

Consider, finally, the antediluvian agitators for antitrust actions against successful companies. The scions of Roosevelt the First seem to be stuck in a zero-sum view of the economic universe, in which “winners” must perforce be balanced by “losers.” Or perhaps they, like their green brethren, suffer a form of success envy.

Whatever the case, the antitrusters forget (or wish not to remember) that (1) successful companies become successful by satisfying consumers, (2) consumers wouldn’t buy the damned stuff if they didn’t think it was worth the price, and (3) “immense” profits invite competition (direct and indirect), which benefits consumers. On the third point, if the USPS — a government monopoly that claims to own my mailbox — can’t stave off competition from alternative delivery services and e-mail, what’s to keep a new Bill Gates from building a better mouse (pun) trap? Only the fear of being pursued by the almighty federal government. Thanks a lot, feds.

All of which underscores another old saying: A sucker is born every minute — and then he moves to Washington.
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* In fact, I agreed with Prof. Shiller and had already moved the bulk of my investments from the stock market to fixed-income securities. Better too soon than too late; when the market crashes, it crashes fast.

PETA Propoganda?

Following my own advice, I watched another animated feature from Disney’s golden age. This time it was Bambi, which I hadn’t seen in more than 50 years. Originally released in 1942, Bambi seems to have been re-released in 1947, 1957, and 1982. Then there are the never-ending rentals.

I now know how PETA members and sympathizers are created. Three generations of impressionable youth have grown up loving “cute” animals and hating “predatory” humans because of Bambi.

Bah! Humbug!

Handy Latin Phrases

Courtesy of Handy Latin Phrases (The Original):

Non calor sed umor est qui nobis incommodat.

It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.

Cum catapultae proscriptae erunt tum soli proscript catapultas habebunt.

When catapults are outlawed, only outlaws will have catapults.

Lex clavatoris designati rescindenda est.

The designated hitter rule has got to go.

Sic hoc adfixum in obice legere potes, et liberaliter educatus

et nimis propinquus ades.

If you can read this bumper sticker, you are

very well educated and much too close.

Tinseltown Is in a Funk

News from Hollywood:

Celebs Shun Once-Famed Hollywood Parade

By GILLIAN FLACCUS, Associated Press Writer

LOS ANGELES – The biggest stars at the Hollywood Christmas Parade this year will be the marble ones under the feet of spectators. The annual parade, which winds past the Hollywood Walk of Fame, was once a tradition as rich and famous as the celebrities who graced its floats: Jimmy Stewart, Bob Hope, Mary Pickford and Gregory Peck, to name a few.

But the event’s cachet has declined so much in recent years that the Hollywood personality generating the most excitement for the 73rd parade on Sunday is a cartoon character — SpongeBob SquarePants….

It must be limousine-liberal-post-election-depresssion-syndrome. It began in 2000 and got worse in 2004. Only cartoon characters are immune.

Roadrunner vs. Coyote

James Lileks, today:

Who is the Road Runner, anyway? An idiot bird blessed with speed, he personifies not ingenuity but luck. You can’t tell me that he somehow figured out how to avoid triggering the Coyote’s various traps. If anything, he didn’t set them off because he was light and / or fast…

In an alternate universe there is one Road Runner cartoon, because at the end the Coyote brought him down with a revolver at 30 paces, and roasted his meat for a light midafternoon snack. It would be a less amusing universe, but perhaps one more just. That said, I’ll take this one….

Me, I’ve always rooted for the Coyote to inflict enough damage to erase Roadrunner’s smug smile, but not enough to end the series.

Driving, Austin-Style

Austin must be the stop-sign-running capital of the world. I don’t know why everyone here is in such a hurry. It’s worse than the D.C. area, where I lived for almost 40 years. I can understand why all those people in the D.C. area run stop signs (and traffic lights) with abandon — they’re in a hurry to do something “important” for the nation. But Austin is the mere capital of one State (granted, it’s a big State and it still has a lot of oil), and an Austinite, by definition, can’t be more important than a denizen of the D.C. area.

Maybe Austinites are propelled by the refried beans that come with Austin’s ubiquitous Tex-Mex food. (I will say that Austin’s version of Mexican food is about 1000-percent better than the D.C. version.) Whatever it is, Austinites have this truly annoying habit of zooming through stop signs and around corners to plant themselves in your lane of traffic. Once there, most of them slow to a crawl and start talking on their cell phones.

Oh well, I’m retired and I have all the time in the world. Don’t mind me — just don’t hit me.

I Demand a Recount

According to a story at news.telegraph.co.uk, everyone now alive on Earth — all six billion of us — is descended from a person who lived only 3,500 years ago:

We are all related to man who lived in Asia in 1,415BC

By David Derbyshire, Science Correspondent

(Filed: 30/09/2004)

Everyone in the world is descended from a single person who lived around 3,500 years ago, according to a new study.

Scientists have worked out the most recent common ancestor of all six billion people alive today probably dwelt in eastern Asia around 1,415BC.

Although the date may seem relatively recent, researchers say the findings should not come as a surprise.

Anyone trying to trace their family tree soon discovers that the number of direct ancestors doubles every 20 to 30 years. It takes only a few centuries to clock up thousands of direct ancestors.

Using a computer model, researchers from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology attempted to trace back the most recent common ancestor using estimated patterns of migration throughout history.

They calculated that the ancestor’s location in eastern Asia allowed his or her descendants to spread to Europe, Asia, remote Pacific Islands and the Americas. Going back a few thousand years more, the researchers found a time when a large fraction of people in the world were the common ancestors of everybody alive today – while the rest were ancestors of no one alive. That date was 5,353BC, the team reports in Nature….

Got that? Here’s what I take from it: There was a guy living 3,500 years ago who’s the common ancestor of everyone now living. (His mate should be our common ancestress, but maybe he had more than one mate.) Anyway, that guy was descended from a bunch of people who are, therefore, our common ancestors, too. But a big bunch of people — everyone else living 3,500 years ago, and all their ancestors — don’t have any living descendants. I guess you could say their genes faded.

(Thanks to Captain Ed for the tip.)

A Prescription for Pork-Barrel Spending

FuturePundit has this:

Anti-Depressant Drug Treats Kleptomania

Stanford researchers have shown in a preliminary non-double blind trial that the anti-depressant Selective Serotonin Uptake Inhibitor (SSRI) escitalopram (Lexapro) reduces the severity of kleptomania.

Quick, buy a truckload and send it to Washington.

Hide the Children

Too good not to post:

No, it’s not John Goodman in his “West Wing” role as Glenallen Walken, the wild-eyed “cowboy” Republican Speaker of the House who became acting president (and made a right good job of it):

Clinton’s Heart Surgery — Another Politically Incorrect Post for Labor Day

UPDATED FROM 09/04/04

Why have so many conservative and libertarian bloggers (e.g., Feddie at Southern Appeal and Virginia Postrel) made a special point of wishing Bill Clinton well before his heart surgery and issuing sighs of relief when his surgery was pronounced a success?

I don’t wish Clinton ill, but I sure as hell didn’t make a big deal about wishing him well, nor will I ooze delight at the outcome of his surgery. What’s the point? He’s not my friend or relative. Even if he were, I wouldn’t post about it.

Is Clinton related to all of those blogging well-wishers and congratulators? If so, why don’t they just send him a box of cigars and a get-well card? Perhaps my usually rational brethren are trying to compensate for all the bad things they said about him while he was president. Or perhaps they get a thrill from mentioning Clinton’s name in their blogs — a sort of vicarious association with the political version of Elvis. I wish they wouldn’t clutter their blogs with such treacle. They should save their sentimentality for someone they know and truly care about. And then, they should keep it private.

End of tirade.

It’s Time for James Carville to Go Home

Mysterious signals from 1000 light years away.”

I Blame TV

Q&A at The Corner:

Reader: …When did the voices of American young women get to be so universally, gratingly, nasally flat, all across the country? And why? Who stole away the huskier voices, the rounded deep-southern tones…the ability to use any vocal range and inflection at all?”

John Derbyshire: …There is, in fact, a very distinctive American-female voice developing. It’s the “Valley girl” voice basically — even though the Valley in question is 3,000 miles from where my daughter grew up….

It’s true, and it’s because kids watch too much TV, which has homogenized America’s once-rich variety of regional accents. Turn off the damn TV and read to your kids in the accent you grew up with. Well, just turn off the TV. Your kids will be the better for it.

Modern Art: Less of It Is Better

Munch’s famous ‘Scream,’ ‘Madonna’ stolen. That’s the headline from AP (via al.com). Here’s a bit of the story:

A French radio producer, Francois Castang, said he was visiting the Munch Museum in Oslo when thieves burst in and made off with the paintings, including the painter’s depiction of an anguished figure with its head in its hands.

“What’s strange is that in this museum, there weren’t any means of protection for the paintings, no alarm bell,” Castang told France Inter radio.

“The paintings were simply attached by wire to the walls,” he said. “All you had to do is pull on the painting hard for the cord to break loose — which is what I saw one of the thieves doing.”

Well, who’d have thought they were worth stealing?

Double Trouble

Captain Ed at Captain’s Quarters writes amusingly about “Ted Kennedy — A Danger In The Air?”. Along the way he quotes an Agence France-Press report:

At a hearing of the Senate Judiciary Committee Thursday, the Massachusetts Democratic senator described having endured weeks of inconvenience after his name ended up on a watch list barring persons deemed to pose a threat to civil aviation or national security from air travel.

Captain Ed also reports this:

TSA confirmed that two incidents occurred where Kennedy had been denied access to board flights, and that only the intervention of higher management had allowed him to travel as planned. TSA insists that the problem was a confusion between the Senator and a real watch-list suspect with a similar name. Kennedy used the experience to challenge DHS Undersecretary Asa Hutchinson and assert that homeland security policies make life too tough on the average citizen.

Ted Kennedy an average citizen? Come on!

Anyway, Paul at Wizbang! has it right when he says that “Kennedy should be on the no-drive list.”

So, Teddy’s a double-threat man: danger in the air and on the road.

I wouldn’t want to be on the same boat with him, either.

UPDATE:
Professor Bainbridge adds: “Well, I suspect he’s killed more people than most folks on that list.” Z-i-i-n-g!!!