“Men’s Health”

I learned something new today. The provision of contraceptives as a “right” under employer-sponsored health-insurance plans is a “women’s health” issue. Fancy that. I had always thought of contraception in a different way. To put it delicately, contraception is like playing with fire without getting burned. “Health” has nothing to do with it.

Anyway, if women can use the power of the state to force others to pay for their contraceptives (via higher insurance premiums), men certainly should be able to use the power of the state to acquire goodies that are essential to “men’s health.” I therefore demand that the Obama administration force insurance companies to cover the following items:

  • free tickets to sporting events
  • beer, whiskey, and wine on demand
  • free premium sports packages on cable or satellite TV
  • Mondays and Fridays off, with full pay
  • provocative clothing (intimate and otherwise) for one’s “partner”
  • free subscriptions to various forms of lascivious entertainment

I’m sure there are many other things that are essential to “men’s health,” but that’s a good start.