A Word to the Unwise

This post is aimed at young-ish heterosexual males, though persons of other persuasions may find it amusing — or provocative.

It’s hard to tell love from lust when you’re in your late teens or twenties, and possibly even your thirties. But if you are inclined to wed, proceed cautiously. Here are some reasons for caution:

!. There are lots of good fish in the sea. Don’t be bowled over by the first woman who returns your infatuation, or the one who catches you on the rebound from a failed relationship.

2. Marry in haste, repent at leisure. If you take obligations seriously — and you should if you want a happy marriage — you are inviting years and decades of repentance if you make the wrong (hasty, uninformed) choice.

3. If you are not a “liberal” at 25, you have no heart. If you are not a conservative at 35 you have no brain. Men and women don’t always follow the same political path through life, and divergence can badly strain a marriage. Be on the lookout for hints that your intended is a “liberal” at heart, that is, all for the “general good” of mankind but not big on personal responsibility, accomplishment, and liberty. (See #4.)

4. Like mother (or father), like daughter. Not necessarily in looks, but very likely in personality. Get to know the parents, if you can, and take stock of  their traits. If one parent (or both) exhibits a trait or traits that you will find it hard or impossible to live with, be wary of wedding the daughter. (See #1.) The list of traits that might be unbearable is too long to recite here, but these are a few that I would watch for: nagging, controlling, crabby, self-centered, spiteful, resentful of the success of others, and unforgiving.

2 thoughts on “A Word to the Unwise

  1. “Marry in hate (oh, no!) haste…

    Having been married for 59 years, (and a “dodo” Dad Of Daughters Only) my personal observation, and strong conviction, is that the love of a devoted woman is the unqualified best thing that can happen to a man. I have a grandson who is homosexual, and I grieve for him that he will never experience the exhiliaration, fulfillment, and sheer joy of a woman’s love, for he had never been in love before declaring his “preference.”


  2. Thanks for catching the typo, which I’ve corrected (plus another one that I spotted). Write in haste, correct at leisure? I, too,am blessed with a devoted wife (of 56 years, next month). But the past four years have challenged my equanimity.


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